As I sit here and think back to the past events, I wonder if everything that was
done was really necessary. I now realise that it was my own selfishness that
drove my husband to the person he has become. I fear him now. I don’t know
what became of me, maybe it was the excitement of the fact that I was to become
queen one day. Why couldn’t of I just waited till the day came naturally,
instead of causing it to occur quicker than it should of. Oh why did I do this
to myself, and my husband. People used to worship him like he was king, he was a
hero, but now, like myself they fear him. I have betrayed my people. When he
told me of the three weird sisters and of the prophecies they made I was
skeptical , but then he told me that he was declared Thane of Cawdor and I knew
the sisters spoke of the truth. Oh why worthy thane did you unbend your noble
strength and succumb to my evilness, you knew it was wrong from the start, but
still I pushed and you being the loyal husband that you were, did as I wished.
Now, Duncan is dead, dead from our own hands, not the grooms that slept withal.
"the sleepy and the dead are but as pictures; tis the eye of the childhood
that fears a painted devil……" what a foolish thought that was, I should
of listened toyou instead of taking it upon our own hands to do the deed. My
hands are now stained with the blood of Duncan and no matter how hard I scrub it
will not remove itself from my skin. There is a doctor with me, I suppose trying
to figure me out. Impossible. All I feel is guilt, I have no need to speak to
anyone, nor a want to. I know I am insane, he knows it and so does the nurse, so
why do they bother to try. Darling husband you saw the danger signs stamped all
over me, but ignored them, because when there is unconditional love there is no
judgment. That is the way you saw it, that was the way you always saw it. What
happened, look what you have become. A monster, that is the only way I can
express it, a human could not even contemplate murdering his own best friend,
for his own personal gain. I cant speak freely about this as I was as bad as
that if not worse. Although I have confessed to myself that I have done the
worst that a person could do, and yet my husband, you can not see past the power
that you think you will receive. Can’t you see that McDuff knows what we’ve
done and soon a repercussion will come of it. Don’t fool yourself again by
falling for the sisters words, for I know that he will prevail and find away to
bring you down. I do here about what goes on, the doctor and nurse talk about
McDuff going to England to see Malcolm and preparing a way of exposing our
evilness. He was to become king, and he deserved to. Not you, as the only thing
you have done for the country is to cause hatred among your people. I am not
looking forward to that day, as by then he would of found out about his wife and
children. I want to give you all of my love, but all your kisses and fine words
are not enough to heal my pain. And that is way I can no longer stay in this
cruel and horrible world of deception. You think I wen t first but really.. it
was you. Farewell my love and I will no doubt see you soon.