There once was a kid named Darren, Who's room was surprisingly barren, He had no
toys, Like all normal boys, But he did believe in sharing. There once was an old
man named Esser, Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser, It at last grew so
small He knew nothing at all, And now he's a college professor. HAIKU Morning
light appears The new day has awoken Nature stirs and sighs Spirits haunt my
dreams Skeletons muffle my screams Night as black as death EPIGRAM The days
become months and those become years, Only memories remain of both joy and
tears. The screams the cries and the pain, All of this goes on in one’s brain.
PARODY Galway Bay Maybe some day I'll go back again to Ireland If my dear old
wife would only pass away She nearly has my heart broke with all her naggin
She's got a mouth as big as Galway Bay See her drinking sixteen pints of pabst
blue ribbon And then she can walk home without a sway If the sea were beer
instead of salty water She'd live and die in Galway Bay See her drinking sixteen
pints at Padgo Murphey's The barman says I think it's time to go Well she
doesn't try to speak to him in Gaelic In a language that the clergy do not know
On her back she has tattooed a map of Ireland And when she takes her bath on
Saturday She rubs the sunlight soap around by Claddagh Just watch the suds flow
down by Galway Bay. IMITATION Happy and Gay May one day I’ll go back again to
my homeland, If only faster time will pass away, It’s been many years and now
its dragging, That’s the only time I’ll be happy and gay. See myself
drinking six doses of bourbon And then I linger about and sway If instead I
could have plain water That’s when I’ll be happy and gay. See myself
drinking doses after doses The doctor says to take it slow Well I try to speak
to him about this In any possible way I know. On my back is a map of my homeland
And when the day will finally arrive Ill be running and dancing and singing
Knowing only the right place to survive. BALLAD Who Threw The Golf Balls In My.
Friends Chowder? My friends gave a party just about a week ago, Everything was
plentiful because they're not too slow, They treated us like guests and we tried
to act the same, And only what happened next was an awful shame. Who threw the
golf balls in their chowder? Nobody spoke so we shouted all the louder, It's a
little trick but we’ll catch the guys that threw, The golf balls in my friends
chowder. When they were cleaning the dish of chowder, they fainted on the spot.
They found a set of golf balls at the bottom of the pot. The neighbors got very
mad with their eyes bulging out. They stood upon the stand and loudly did they
shout. They took the balls from out of the soup and laid them on the floor. Each
of us swore that we’d ne'er seen them before. They were packed up with morter
and were worn to the knee. Only for what happened then it was just too sad to
see. When they came to, they began to cry and shout. They had put them in the
wash that day and forgot to take them out. The fellow neighbors excused
themselves for what they said that night So we put music to the words and sang
with all our might.