What is IQ? For decades, a lot emphasis has been put on certain aspect of
intelligence. This intelligence is called IQ ( Intelligence Quotient ). IQ
includes aspects of Mathematics, spatial learning, Verbal, logical reasoning,
and memory. This intelligence could predict to a significant degree of
performances and some degree of personal and professional success. However, some
people with fabulous IQ scores are doing poorly in their life. They somehow are
wasting their potential by thinking, behaving and communication in a way that
hinders their chances to succeed. There is something missing in the success
equation. The missing part in the success equation is EQ or EIQ ( Emotional
Intelligence Quotient ). Aristotle, a Greek philosopher, had a recipe for
handling relationship smoothly. He said, " You must be able to angry with
the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
and in the right way " - Aristotle, Greek philosopher - While psychologist,
Daniel Goleman, called such self-control as “ Emotional Intelligence ”. This
concept was made popular by his groundbreaking book “ Emotional Intelligence
” in 199 . EQ refers to a combination of skills such as empathy, self-control,
self-awareness, sensitivity to feelings of others, persistence and
self-motivation. People who excel in their life tend to be emotionally
intelligent. IQ ( Intelligence Quotient ) EQ ( Emotional Intelligence ) ╥
Mathematics╥ Spatial Learning╥ Verbal╥ Logical
Reasoning╥ Memory ╥ Empathy╥ Self-control╥
Self-awareness╥ Sensitivity to feelings of others╥
Persistence╥ Self-Motivation Aspects of IQ & EQ and Their Differences
WHY EQ IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN IQ ? As all of us know, EQ is more important than
IQ nowadays. A person with high EQ shows signs of not afraid to express his
feeling and express them with reason, logic and reality, and not the slave to
negative emotion such as fear, worry, guilt. We should be brave and do things
that we want to do. Besides, we should act out or do something to desire and not
of force or duty. We should always express our feelings clearly and directly
with three word sentence, so that we can let feelings guide us through life.
Independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous also shows one with high EQ.
High EQ is definitely not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame or approval
but feelings, comfortable talking about feelings, immobilized by fear or worry,
and able to identify multiple concurrent feelings. There are many evidences that
show EQ is more important than IQ : EQ proves that emotion influences a person's
behavior though he is brilliant and high IQ. Two students show different
feelings towards their results. Both the students get B- grade in their exam.
The optimistic students ( high EQ ) shows the satisfying feeling to the result
and accepts it with reasons while the other acts aggressively and is unsatisfied
with the result although he is brilliant and with high IQ. Undesirable action
may appear if the latter cannot control his emotion. Another evidence that can
been seen in our social life is optimistic person is always welcomed by others
and it shows that EQ helps us in our social life when we can understand others
feelings and act friendly and be more optimistic. In addition, EQ also fulfills
our own feelings needs if we know how to release negative emotion that has
tolerated for a long time. This will reduce our stress in life. If we have high
EQ, we know how to protect ourselves biologically. We will feel afraid when a
snake attacks us. Emotion will make us feel fear and react to the situation. We
will run away and will be more careful when we see a snake next time. Besides,
EQ also helps us to protect ourselves from dangerous. For example, anxiety
prevents us from repeating the same mistake, while angry defends ourselves from
repeatedly disturbance or being attacked by others. On the whole, we know that
EQ is important for us rather than having only IQ. So, we should know how to
apply EQ into our daily life. ╥ EQ influences a person's behavior though
he is brilliant and high IQ.╥ EQ helps us in our social life when we can
understand others feelings and act friendly and be more optimistic.╥ EQ
fulfills our own feelings needs.╥ EQ protects us biologically.╥ EQ
helps us to protect ourselves from dangerous. The Importance of EQ LEARNING EQ
“Intelligence” is really a mixture of different kinds of cognition,
“Emotional Intelligence” is really a combination of patterns, behaviors and
kinds of thoughts. There is a model of how to learn EQ. It is made up of stages
such as ‘Know yourself’, ‘Choose yourself’ and ‘Give yourself’. This
model is taken from Six Seconds’ Web ( www.6seconds.org , 1998 ). Question
Components Stage 1Know Yourself ь What makes you think , act and feel the
way you do?ь What parts of your reaction are habitual (done without
conscious thought and which parts are intentional?ь What are you afraid
of? Э Self-awareness : the recognition of the causes and effects of your
own feelings and reaction.Э Self-honesty : the acceptance of your own
qualities and faults, your own experiences and emotions and your own power.Э
Independence : the recognition of your own rights and responsibilities as a free
person. Stage 2Choose Yourself ь How do you know what is right for you?ь
Can you increase your awareness of your actions so that you see their effects?ь
If you were not afraid, what would you do?ь Can you live with doing less
that what is right? Э Delay gratification : take “right” action even
though there may not be immediate reward.Э Prioritize : bring to the
forefront of your mind a “checklist” of what is most important so you can
weigh decisions and actions.Э Manage feelings : use simple techniques,
like a pause for reflection, to act – not react.Э Optimism : recognize
that you have choice, that you can make a difference, that you are an important
part of a living whole.Э Accountability : hold yourself to high standards
and do what is right … even when it seems hopeless Stage 3 Give Yourself
ь Am I leaving a legacy of good?ь Am I healing or hurting?ь Do
I live the golden rule?ь Will I die knowing I lived well? Э
Interdependence : the recognition of an individual’s place in the larger
community; awareness and decision making that takes into account the short &
long term consequences of our actions.Э Empathy : use your awareness to
guide your choices.Э Noble Goals : commit to action that serves ideals
& serves others, but does not hurt anyone and does not profit one over
another. ( Six Seconds’ Web, www.6seconds.org , 1998 ) There are activities to
build EQ and to take charge of how you think, feel and act. These activities
begin with knowing yourself. It’s through self-index, reflecting on EQ and
naming feelings. The activities are taken out from the Six Seconds’ Web
(1998). Topic Activities Getting To Know Me 1. Self Index ╗ Make a list of
your strengths and your vulnerabilities.╗ Copy your list and give it to
several people who know you well and ask them mark the three strengths and the
three vulnerabilities that best describe you. Invite them to add others to the
list.╗ After one week or two, revisit your list and revise it. Choose one
strength you will focus on building. Make a list of ways you prevent yourself
from fully utilizing that strength. 2. Reflecting on EQ ╗ Take the
emotional intelligence test from books or from websites.╗ Check the
answer. Do you agree with your results? 3. Naming Feelings ╗ Clip out 6
cartoons or comics from a paper or magazine. On a separate sheet label each with
an emotional concept or a feeling.╗ Examples of Concepts : esteem,
integrity, hope, community, values, perseverance, gratitude, grace.╗
Examples of Feelings : fear, love, anger, pessimism, adoration, despair,
anguish, confusion, frustration, anxiety, disgust, terror, ecstasy. ( Six
Seconds’ Web, www.6seconds.org , 1998 ) There are 10 habits of high EQ people.
( EQ Institute, www.eqi.org ,1999 ) 1. Label their feelings, rather than
labeling people or situations.2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.3.
Take responsibility for their feelings.4. Use their feelings to help them make
decisions.5. Show respect for other people’s feelings.6. Feel energized, not
angry.7. Validate other people’s feelings.8. Practice getting a positive value
from their negative emotions.9. Don’t advise, command, control, criticize,
judge or lecture to others.10. Avoid people who invalidate them, or don’t
respect their feelings. Learning EQ is not a difficult task. So, try to control
your emotions and behave properly. With the list of habits of high EQ people
above, we can determine ourselves whether we are high EQ person or not.

BibliographyKnow, Choose, Give : Six Seconds Model of Applied Emotional Intelligence. Six
Seconds’ Web [Online]. Available : http://www.6seconds.org/ [1998, December 10
Review of the book of Daniel Goleman : Emotional Intelligence. EQ Institute
[Online] Available : http://www.eqi.org (1999)